In Mrs. Lindsey’s fourth grade class, she was known as Debbie the Duck. She was an odd one, with a wild mop of bright red curls, an unusual fashion sense, and an uncommon list of interests. The thing I remember most about Debbie is that she was not at all bothered by her own eccentricity. She was authentically and unapologetically exactly who she was. If you didn’t like who she was, that was your problem.
I secretly admired that about her.
We live in a culture where each gathering and community of human beings has an unspoken, yet clearly understood, set of requirements and standards for acceptability. In polite society, when you don’t meet the unspoken rules and standards of acceptability in a community of people, you are quietly ignored, overlooked, and not invited to participate.
In an impolite societal setting when you don’t meet the standards of acceptability, you may be subjected to ridicule, bullying, or various forms of abuse. The polite version of deeming someone unacceptable is no better than the impolite. It merely has a thin veneer of niceness to it that conforms to allowable patterns of behavior.
The desire to be accepted is wired into our humanity. We mask who we truly are and put on the behaviors of the community we want to belong to because we are hurt when we are told we cannot belong. We fear that being told we are not acceptable to a community means that we are unacceptable everywhere. As a result, much of our interaction with our own culture is not much more than a practice in pretense.
What about the community of people around Jesus? Did the Lord find the unaccepted people around Him acceptable?
Mary Blesses Jesus
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Mary entered a dinner party uninvited. She broke social conventions by approaching the invited guests who were reclining at the table. Mary carried in her hands an expensive jar of perfume. She carried on her shoulders the shame of a sinful reputation.
As Mary approached Jesus, people stared and whispered. Mary had to break the valuable jar to release the perfume. Calling her actions a waste, people were angered by her extravagance and socially unapproved behavior. The perfume’s scent filled the house as the oil ran down Jesus’ head and beard onto his clothing.
In response to the criticism of Mary, Jesus pronounced her actions to be a blessing to him and then pronounced a blessing on her. “Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her” (Mark 14:9).
An expensive jar had to be broken for its contents to pour out.
The result of brokenness blessed Jesus.
Jesus blessed Mary and her story blesses everyone who reads the four gospels. (The story is told in Mt 26, Mark 14, Luke 7*, Jn 12.)
Brokenness is a Blessing
Brokenness in our lives makes us feel unacceptable. Often, people are uncomfortable in the presence of brokenness. So, we are tempted to cover our hurts and hangups so that others won’t see our weakness. We are also tempted to try to hide our truths from Jesus. But we cannot be a blessing until we are broken and poured out.
Mary was willing to be honest about her broken life in front of people who ridiculed her. At the same time, she was willing to openly lay her brokenness at the feet of Jesus. This honesty and her extravagant devotion in front of Jesus and the ones who couldn’t understand became a beautiful act of worship.
How can we worship the Lord in “spirit and truth” (John 4:24) when we refuse to be broken in His presence? How is our devotion a sweet-smelling perfume if we are so afraid of being unacceptable to others that we bottle up and conceal who we really are?
As the psalmist (David) wrote: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps 51:17).
We are blessed by the love and grace of a merciful Lord. May our worship of Him be extravagant, authentic, and fearless. And may our devotion to Jesus be a fragrant perfume that blesses our Savior.
My hope is that Debbie the Duck never lost her courage to be her true and genuine self. I hope she has lived a life of joy and fulfillment by being authentically and unapologetically exactly who God created her to be.
*There is some scholarly debate whether the anointing in Luke 7 is the same anointing at Bethany. Anointing was a common practice when honoring a guest.
Copyright @ TA Boland 2025
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